Beyond Birds and Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids About Sex, Love, and Equality

Many modern parents struggle with how to handle questions about bodies, “private parts,” and sex with their kids. Should we use anatomically correct terms, or cutesy nicknames? What do we do when our kids touch themselves? What about if they touch others? And how will our answers and reactions affect the future? Author Bonnie J. Rough struggled, too, wanting to create educated, literate children without risking their safety or sexualizing them at a young age. When her family moved to Amsterdam for a few years, she discovered that the Dutch approach strikes a much better balance than most parents find here in America. As Rough came to realize, normalizing sexuality is key, and she details the many ways parents can do so in her book, Beyond Birds & Bees.

Readers will delve into ideas about “early” sex education (the Dutch start in kindergarten), normalizing bodies via story books, why we shouldn’t be afraid of kids “playing doctor” (but why we should be aware and set limits), and other topics. Along the way, Rough delves into research studies, offers information from books and lectures from sexologists from America and the Netherlands, and tackles the backlash that parents may face when their kid is the most sexually literate one in school. This book is full of fantastic information and may fill in the gaps many parents face when it comes to raising kids who are smart and literate but also safe from predators. Of course, it’s almost certain that in our society, this book will receive a strong backlash, which is truly unfortunate; the evidence seems to indicate that our methods aren’t working in this country, and if we want to create more equality and body positivity, then a more open method is the way to go. Hopefully, Rough’s book will help parents fill in the gaps that are missing in more traditional American sex ed.