Friend & Foe: When to Cooperate, When to Compete, and How to Succeed at Both

Competition and cooperation are business buzz words that dictate how we approach a given situation. This book’s introduction argues that we engage in both behaviors – often simultaneously. The first half of the chapters focus on building up, then breakdown dichotomies in areas such as social comparisons, power, hierarchy, and discrimination (gender and racial). The second half of the book discusses topics like signs to verify trust, ingredients of an apology, and sympathy. Each chapter starts with an anecdote and makes reference to studies that explain the behavior. Earlier chapters are typically followed by another anecdote and study that explains the anecdote (as the second part of the chapter breaks the dichotomy).

The book is entertaining and the narrative is easy to read. Studies cited in the book are referenced for those interested in reviewing not only the anecdotes, but understanding the more rigorous studies conducted. Of course “friend” and “foe” have to be taken in a broader context of the various dichotomies that are discussed than in the narrower sense of the words themselves. This book is a discussion of relating to others rather than a “how to” or checklist which essentially cumulates to people are drawn to those who are fair, generous or sympathetic. Good advice not only from psychology but also from morality.